Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Taylor Swift, Colonoscopies, Candy Crush & Shingles... A winning combination!

What do Taylor Swift, colonoscopies, Candy Crush, and shingles have in common?  Keep reading and you will find out. Also, here’s your chance to dictate what appears on the sign I hold up in the 22nd row at the Taylor Swift concert this weekend.

A photo of me comforting my dear friend, Taylor after
her most recent parking ticket. I tore it up in protest!

Dear Faithful Readers,

Thanks so much for your patience as you’ve waited for new posts to return to this blog.  It’s been over a month since I’ve been able to muster up the energy to write.  Being a mom, working a fulltime job, and having shingles (the viral kind, not the roofing kind) sucked away any and all of my ability to think.  Seriously, I completely stopped thinking for an entire month. 

Here’s the breakdown of how I used my brain capacity over the month of August:

  • 50% - My brain telling me my shingles itched more than thousands of tiny mosquito bites spread across my back and chest.
  • 40% - My brain registering the pain impulses from when I gave into the urge to scratch my shingles.  #shinglesfail #bigmistake  They call them “shingles” because they are as painful as someone nailing roofing shingles to your body.
  • 5% - Candy Crush… I can now boast that I’m on level 1139. (This is seriously the level I’m on.  It’s terribly sad that I’m actually proud.)
  • 5% - Making sure my kids stayed alive.

Upon hearing the diagnosis of shingles, my middle child did some research (code for “Google”) on my condition.  How sweet!  My pre-teen son cared enough about his ailing mother to understand the horrific virus etching it’s way through her body.  When he concluded his research, my sweet and concerned son marched back out into the living room and said, “Mom, I read about shingles.  I think Mother Nature just called to tell you that you’re old.”  #kidssuck

This same horrible child recently researched the term ‘colonoscopy’ because I told him I was driving a friend to get one.  At 25 years of age, my friend was understandably nervous about the procedure.  His response to her, after concluding his Google search, was “So, it’s kind of like someone sticking an iPhone on a selfie stick up there!”  #toocloseforcomfort #selfiestickuses

What does this have to do with Talyor Swift?  Nothing.  I just had no other way to ties these three concepts together. 

All that said… thanks for waiting for a new blog post!

<3 Naty

Now, onto Taylor Swift…

As you can see, Taylor and I like to hang out 
and take black and white photos together.

This weekend the one and only Taylor Swift rolls into St. Paul to play three shows at the Xcel Energy Center.  I’m now admitting to the world that I personally will be attending two of those three concerts…once with a friend and once with my 10 year-old daughter. 

Stop judging me for:
  • Liking Taylor Swift… Yes, I really do like her.
  • Taking my child to her concert.
  • Going to the concert without the excuse of being a chaperone.
  • Going to the concert twice.
  • Paying to go to the concert twice.

If there’s one thing I’ve observed from my career as a more casual Taylor Swift concertgoer, it’s that Swifties (her most devout fans) can get pretty hardcore when it comes to how they dress and the signs they carry.  It’s commonplace to see both t-shirts and signs elaborately lit by lights that flash continuously throughout the night. 

Halloween Party!  Taylor as a pegacorn.  
Naty as a board game ninja.

Well, I’m ready to take a major step toward becoming a full-fledged Swifty by carrying a sign into the concert on Friday night.  It’s quite possible that Miss Swift herself could actually see it.  I need your help…

What should my sign say? 

This is your chance!  Readers, you get to dictate what I hold up from row 22 at the Xcel.  Leave a comment below by Thursday at midnight (I need time on Friday to craft my sign) with what you think my sign should say.  The comment I like best, or the comment that gets the most traction, will be the one I put on a poster board and carry into the arena on Friday night.  In case you are wondering, this is the night I’m going with a friend, not my daughter.  She would be mortified if I pulled something like this on her concert night. 


  1. A picture of yourself from 1989. I'll keep thinking, but this is my first suggestion.

  2. Do you think people would get it if you held up a blank sign? (Blank Space)

  3. The colonoscopy iPhone,selfie stick is priceless.

  4. I think your middle child has a great chance at succeeding as a comedian.